I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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