it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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