some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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