What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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