Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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