oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
