May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
