A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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