its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
