Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
