My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
