It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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