Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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