My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
