every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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