You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
