I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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