Sry I called you an 8
you didnt know i had herpes?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
