id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
