My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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