he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
