U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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