Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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