She just used a chaser for red wine.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
i out mim tonsoeep
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
