Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i just google imaged poop.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
