so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
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