i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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