is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
