I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
