I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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