We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize