O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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