if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
