Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
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