Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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