...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
