so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
