i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
