Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
