doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
He uses pillows to masturbate.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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