Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
