3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
