first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
