Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He? As in you personified your dick?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
