I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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