Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
