If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
