getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
