that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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