Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize