Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
