I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
