so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
The air taste purple.
Randomize
