I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
