If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
