i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
