forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
