If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
