so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
