I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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