I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
another moral hangover. fuck.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
As shirtless as possible
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
