We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
