Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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