Did you just see the Batmobile???
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
