What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
