Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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