I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
